Critical Findings · Feeling Muslim Study · 2014

When Feelings of
Muslimness Fall Apart

Feelings of Muslimness are fluid — they are constantly changing, strengthening or weakening — and they can be affected by outside influences, for better or worse. Sometimes that "worse" results in our convert brothers and sisters leaving Islam.

From the Study

"While we are not our emotions, our 'feelings of Muslimness' are more than just fleeting feelings; they are often the foundational building blocks of our Muslim identities — and the foundation they form can be built up, by nurturing them, and thus strengthening our Muslim identities, or torn down, by hindering them, and thus weakening our Muslim identities."

— Karla N. Kovacik · Feeling Muslim: Why It Matters · 2023 Presentation

New Finding · Slide 26

Did you instantly feel Muslim
upon conversion?

Every single respondent answered this question — there were no N/A responses. This matters: it shows that feelings of Muslimness at the moment of conversion are something every convert registers clearly, one way or the other. And the results revealed that these feelings are not static.

53% Did not instantly feel Muslim upon conversion Feelings developed gradually over time
47% Did instantly feel Muslim upon conversion Feelings present at the moment of shahada

"This told me that these feelings of Muslimness are not static; they are something that can change, for better or worse." — The fact that 53% did not feel Muslim instantly means that for the majority of converts, Muslim identity must be cultivated — and that cultivation depends heavily on what happens next.

The Pattern

How hindered feelings of Muslimness
compound over time

Stage 1

Convert enters Muslim community — feeling uncertain, seeking belonging

Stage 2

Experiences isolation, rejection, lack of support, or cultural barriers

Stage 3

Feelings of Muslimness are repeatedly hindered — identity weakens

Stage 4

Fear. Doubt. Shame. Depression. "Am I still Muslim?" — and sometimes, leaving Islam

Outside Influences · 80.54% Affected

What participants said hindered
and nurtured their feelings

An overwhelming 80.54% of respondents said yes — there were outside influences that either nurtured or hindered their feelings of Muslimness. These are their themes, in their own words.

Things that hinder
  • Lack of lasting friendships and sisterhood — feeling alone, isolated, left out
  • Lack of community belonging — feeling othered, unloved, unwelcome
  • Lack of encouragement from family, friends, and born Muslims — being rejected for becoming Muslim, losing financial and emotional support
  • Being given a long list of dos and don'ts without warmth or welcome
  • Difficulty praying consistently — feeling frustrated with no one to turn to for help
  • Lack of classes for converts — feeling lost, overwhelmed, confused
  • Lack of access to traditional Islamic knowledge — feeling locked out of their own religion
  • Not knowing how to grow their relationship with Allah — feeling disconnected
Things that nurture
  • Development of lasting friendships and sisterhood — feeling included
  • A strong sense of belonging in the Muslim community — feeling loved and welcomed
  • Regular encouragement and support from family, friends, and born Muslims
  • Practical advice when requested — positive feedback for what they're doing right
  • Access to traditional Islamic knowledge before and after marriage
  • Community activities that encourage bonding between converts and born Muslims
  • Gentle, loving guidance on how to pray correctly and consistently
  • Classes for converts — so they feel grounded and confident in their religion
  • Deepening their knowledge of Islam and knowing where to find it
  • Access to Arabic and Islamic learning
  • Knowledge of how to grow their relationship with Allah — feeling connected
  • A support group just for converts
  • Feeling valued by and useful to their community

When feelings are hindered

fear doubt confusion depression anger sin frustration hatred weakness shame

"Why am I going through this?
Why am I Muslim?
Am I still Muslim?"

When feelings are nurtured

hope certainty clarity happiness joy purity contentment love strength confidence

"What can I do to nurture others?
Why did I wait so long?
I'm so glad I'm Muslim."

"The emergence of these themes reiterated that feelings of Muslimness are fluid — they are constantly changing and growing, strengthening or weakening — and they can be affected by outside influences, for better or worse. And sometimes that 'worse' results in our convert brothers and sisters leaving Islam."

— Karla N. Kovacik · Feeling Muslim: Why It Matters · 2023 Presentation · Slide 31

The Most Critical Finding

Have you ever thought about
leaving Islam?

This was the question the entire study built toward. The responses revealed something far more significant — and far more heartbreaking — than even the raw numbers first suggested.

Initial reported finding ~30%

of 257 American female converts said yes — they had thought about leaving Islam.

Actual finding — after methodology review 42.8%

of respondents had, in fact, thought about leaving Islam — a truly devastating statistic.

"Of the almost 70% of women who wrote 'No' that they had not thought about leaving Islam, a majority answered with a hard 'No' and did not go further. However, a significant percentage of that same group answered, 'No, but…' and went on to express that the thought had, in fact, entered their minds before — which changed the overall statistic drastically."

— Karla N. Kovacik · Feeling Muslim: Why It Matters · 2023 Presentation · Slides 41–42

The "No, but…" effect

Initially reported: Yes, thought about leaving ~30%
Actual finding including "No, but…" responses 42.8%
Have not thought about leaving Islam 57.2%

Scholarly Note

Why the "No, but…" response matters

The shift from ~30% to 42.8% is not a data error — it is a methodological insight. In a closed yes/no question, respondents who answered "No, but…" were technically reporting "no." But their elaborations told a different story: the thought had entered their minds, even if they did not identify it as seriously considering leaving.

This is the kind of nuance that only emerges from mixed-methods research — where qualitative responses are allowed to complicate, enrich, and sometimes overturn what quantitative data first appears to show. It is also why this study's open-ended questions were as important as its statistical ones.

Nearly half of American female converts to Islam have, at some point, considered leaving. That is not a statistic that can be set aside. It is a call to action for every Muslim community in America.

"The wound is the place where the Light enters you."

— Rumi

What Can We Do

The question is not
whether this is happening.

Nearly 43% of American female converts have thought about leaving Islam. The data is clear. The question now is what Muslim communities choose to do with it.

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