The Project

My Family

Peter Omar Kovacik · Ilyas · Yahya

My deepest gratitude belongs to my husband, Peter Omar Kovacik, and to my sons, Ilyas and Yahya. Their love, support, and encouragement sustain everything. This work is for them as much as it is for anyone.

The Intellectual Origin

Dr. Gabriele Marranci · Dr. Anne Sofie Roald · Dr. Karin van Nieuwkerk

The concept of feeling Muslim traces to a convergence of three scholars. In Anne Sofie Roald’s chapter in Karin van Nieuwkerk and Willy Jansen’s edited volume Women Embracing Islam: Gender and Conversion in the West (University of Texas Press, 2006), Roald described one convert’s experience of not constantly feeling herself to be a Muslim, a phrase that lodged itself as a question. Gabriele Marranci’s The Anthropology of Islam (Routledge, 2008) gave the question its vocabulary, with his discussions of “feeling to be a Muslim” and “feelings of Muslimness.” Dr. Marranci communicated directly with me during the study’s development and was generous with his encouragement, and I remain grateful to him. My own concept of feeling Muslim, however, departs drastically from his argument. Dr. Marranci holds that a person is Muslim because she feels herself to be. I hold that a person is Muslim from the moment of her shahāda, which is a state of being between herself and Allah Taʿālā, and that feeling Muslim is a separate lived experience altogether, one that her community can nurture or erode. Not feeling Muslim does not change the fact that she is Muslim. That distinction is mine, and it is the spine of this study. Karin van Nieuwkerk (Dutch anthropologist and Professor of Contemporary Islam in the Middle East and Europe at Radboud University Nijmegen, whose research focuses on gender, migration, religious transformation, and processes of moving in and out of Islam) provided the broader scholarly context within which both Roald’s observation and Marranci’s vocabulary could be heard. Together, these three scholars made the central question of this study askable. The answer this study proposes is its own.

Data Analysis & Beloved Friend

Barbara Flaherty, M.A.

“I could not have asked for a more diligent and devoted data analyst, editor, and beloved friend.” Barbara pored over data with me, checked and double-checked, laughed with me, cried with me, and just sat with me through the most difficult responses. Her help was unwavering from beginning to end. She was also among the first to hear the concept of feeling Muslim and reviewed each survey question before I finalized the study.

Patient & Sage Guide, Mentor & Ongoing Inspiration

Dr. Alan ‘Abd al-Haqq Godlas

I am deeply grateful to Dr. Godlas for his patient and sage guidance, then and now. He directed my thesis with wisdom and care, and I will always treasure the beautiful stories he shared with me of his own travels and studies. His generosity as a scholar and as a person made this work possible in ways that go far beyond the academic. That generosity has not dimmed with time: Dr. Godlas continues to mentor and encourage me as I apply to doctoral programs, and his steady, wise presence in my scholarly life remains one of its greatest gifts.

Thesis Committee & Conversation

Dr. Sandy Dwayne Martin · Dr. Carolyn Medine · Dr. Kenneth Honerkamp

I am so grateful to Dr. Martin, Dr. Medine, and Dr. Honerkamp for their incredible remarks and guidance on my thesis, and for the excellent office conversations that shaped my thinking in ways I continue to carry with me. Their engagement with my work went well beyond what was required, and I am a better scholar for it.

Mentor, Inspiration & Beloved Friend

Dr. Lewis Rambo

I cannot adequately put into words what Dr. Rambo’s guidance, mentorship, support, and friendship have meant to me. His work is by far my biggest inspiration. His steady, nuanced, and wise guidance have forever changed the lens through which I see the phenomenon of religious conversion. I am profoundly grateful for every conversation, every encouragement, and every moment of his generous and luminous presence in my scholarly life.

Encouragement, Proofreading & Gentle Nudging

Betty Jannah Godlas

Betty Jannah is a beautiful person who was instrumental in encouraging and supporting me, and in gently, lovingly nudging me along the path. She was one of the first people I bounced the idea of feeling Muslim off of and reviewed the study questions before I finalized them. I am also deeply grateful for her incredible proofreading of my thesis, which she gave with such care and generosity.

Health & Early Reader

Amy Abrahamsen

Amy diligently made sure I was taking care of my health throughout the research process. I am grateful for her steadiness and care.

Spirit & Perseverance

Sylvie Honerkamp

Sylvie gave me the best hugs at the University of Georgia, hugs that, as I wrote in my thesis, “seemed to instantly lift my spirits and remind me to keep on going.” Sometimes that is exactly what a researcher needs, and I am so grateful she was there.

In Memoriam

Andrea Cluck Annaba
may Allah have mercy on her soul

Andrea was one of my dearest friends, a fellow American female convert to Islam, and a scholar whose UGA thesis on Islamophobia modeled the rigor and courage I aspired to in my own work. Like me, Andrea brought to her scholarship both academic seriousness and the full weight of lived experience, including the pain of being shunned by her family for choosing Islam. We both knew what it meant to pay a personal price for our faith and to transform that experience into research that could help others. I wrote of her in my thesis: “Andrea Cluck is one of the most precious human beings I have ever met, and I am truly blessed to call her a dear friend. Her sincere advice and concern throughout my time at the University of Georgia is without equal.” She is deeply missed.